You have no idea what Yeti to buy? Not sure what the range is all about? This may or may not help!

You: I like riding trails - just normal everyday trails really. Occasionally I like to go on some rockier stuff but 70% of my riding is up or along and cross country orientated...

TBC: You need to look at the ASR-5, the 575 and maybe the ARC 

You: I like riding bigger stuff, rocks, roots, steep technical stuff and I will be going to the Alps with my bike every year...

TBC: Have a look towards the 575 and the ASR-7, you might even want to look at the 4x... just sheer genius that one. 

You: Mainly I ride cross country and feel like I might want to race sometime but not sure...

TBC: Can we show you the ARC? It's a classic. 

You: I am going to race CX this year - I need to win, I will even shave myself top to toe...

TBC: That's great news, thanks for sharing. You need an ARC-X. Go forth and WIN.

You: Hmm, what's this road stuff about. I only really ride mountain bikes but I want a GOOD road bike that the roadies won't be expecting...

TBC: That's a hard one. Yeti don't really do road but we reckon an ARC-X with slicks on will spank most out there.

You: I literally have no idea what I want but I just want a Yeti...

TBC: You need to think along the lines of a 575 or an ASR-5 or an ARC. All 3 paint the Yeti picture pretty clearly.

You: Is it wrong to want to ride a road bike type bike off road?

TBC: No - it's perfectly normal. Sit down while we talk you through the ARC-X.

You: I say 'dude' a lot and like dishing out Hi Fives to my riding pals.

TBC: You need to be on a 4x or a DJ or even an ASR-7, then buy a plane ticket to Whistler. Enjoy the trip!